Monthly Archives: February 2012

Emancipation from these chains

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Free yourself!
From the chains that you have bound yourself in. From the ever tiring reality that surrounds you. Reason, intellect, logic… They all shall intertwine your brain just like strings of wool. There shall be no start and no end. Just a jumble of mess, a heap of dung.
Grow up!
Realize, that the heart is given so much importance for a reason. Emotions do make you helpless. Do not be afraid of it! Stop whining about how weak they make you. Don’t complain about the pain they give you. Seek pleasure in the flight of your imagination. Elevate your soul to the heights of heart-felt feelings.
Let go!
You are not meant to hold on to the hard facts and figures of life. Life does not follow binary system. It’s like a hour glass that slips by with time. It leaves behind sand dunes of memories. Memories are never associated with logic. They are always associated with emotions. Happy, sad, enraging, jealous, inspirational, silly and crazy memories. Do you think before you feel? Do you send your brain an application of approval before you feel pain when you get hurt or when you laugh with joy?
Believe in love!
Lean your shoulder and cry your heart out. Someone is there who wants to hold you and reassure you that they are always going to be there for you. Yes, there is someone out there, not necessarily for forever, but for as long as possible. There for you. The person who shall make your silly, idealistic, lovey dovey dreams come true. Give your heart out to them. Hurting is a by product, nothing to worry about. The caution snatches the fun from love. Let yourself lose! They don’t call it falling in love for nothing. You fall, you don’t follow the trend of “look before you leap”. No, not here. Don’t.
Listen!
Set your soul free, let your emotions flee, feel your heart beat and listen to the rhythm that flows in your veins and pumps life into you every second of the day… for the rest of your life…

Invalid Realiability

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Nothing is guaranteed. We can never be assured of anything in this mortal world. Then why do we demand the fulfillment of our expectations? Why do we lead ourselves to the path of self destruction in order to be shattered? Why do we demand trust when trust itself is not worth being trusted?
Many questions, indeed. How much logic shall you evolved? How many theories will you develop? It’s all a fool’s mind game. Everything is a lame excuse to make life tolerable. Maybe I am cynical… Or maybe, just a realist.

Dreams *pop* Reality

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Admit it, we all have our own world of fantasies in our head. It’s a refuge, it’s a place where you can go and play hide and seek with your real life. Sometimes you hide yourself in your dreams, but eventually reality catches up with you and bursts your delicate bubble. But dreamland is not eternal, it’s not real.
Yes, I might be acting cynical. But the truth is the truth. The truth is more like dark chocolate. It’s the purest form but it’s not the best in taste. Actually, it’s the worst in taste. For some, it’s inedible. Similarly, confronting the reality is not everyone’s piece of cake. But every one has at least one secret that will break your heart.
Girls (of course, even me) dream about getting married to their prince charming. The prince charming will come, sweep her off her feet and take her with him to their palace where they’ll live happily ever after. Walt Disney is the most cruel person, in this manner, who provokes us to dream such beautiful dreams and makes us cry when we realize they’re just animated cartoons based on bedtime fairy tales. The movies are beautiful and the stories are lovely. I don’t doubt that. Most of our childhood is based on them. But expecting such things is a bit far fetched. Why don’t we treat our maids like Cinderellas, then? Why doesn’t any prince charming go and kiss a girl dying from cancer in a hospital like sleeping beauty? Rarely, we meet such instances. That is why we find them so inspiring.
Reality, is opposed to this. There is no such thing as a perfect prince charming or dream girl princess. Perfect love does not exist. Yet, there is an occurrence of inextricable fates that are apparently like shapeless, ugly puzzle pieces. But they fit in perfectly and make a beautiful picture. Sometimes, the puzzle messes up. The pieces scatter and life becomes a blurry picture. You feel incomplete, like the missing pieces of a puzzle. What you have to do is focus and be patient. Sort the puzzle out, just like a jigsaw puzzle in a child’s hands. A child’s logic lies in his innocence, in his heart. We grown ups shun our emotions of intellectual basis. Sometimes, it’s just better to let things loose and enjoy life, for a change.
Discouraging imagination and restricting dreams to reality is like feeding a human through I.V.s and giving him oxygen through a cylinder. Keeping the whole puzzle metaphor in mind, dreams and reality can be made clear. Dreaming in life is like visualizing the whole picture of the puzzle, the way you want it to be. Reality is picking every piece and putting into it’s place. You try, sometimes using your logic, sometimes your instincts and even your heart. At some places, the piece fits. At other places, it doesn’t. You don’t stop there! You try to fit it somewhere else.
Similarly, if something isn’t meant to be somewhere in your life, where you wanted and hoped it to be, then try putting it somewhere else. If that doesn’t work, maybe that piece isn’t meant to be a part of your puzzle. It’ll only complicate your life, being an extra piece that is filling up extra room.
Life isn’t easy, but it isn’t meant to be made more complicated than it already is.

Random Blessings

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I didn’t notice her at first. Why should I? She was just another stranger. My whole focus was on getting my work done, as soon as possible. I was drained by the overloaded passengers, especially kiddy packages on the ride back home. It was hard to figure out where my legs were as they seemed to intersect with the legs of school kids sitting in front of me.
“Calm down, you’ll be home soon.” I thought to myself. “Just be patient” I reassured myself. My temper and impatience always got to my nerves within an instant. This was too petty to bother. All I could do, was keep a straight face and let my mind figure out stuff about my work in the meantime. Thinking about random things has always been something that I enjoy while traveling. Whether it’s just a ride home, I let my mind drift away and brainstorm about random things.
This morning, I happened to notice a billboard for the gazillionth time. I started thinking about the models in it. Weighing the pros and cons of their career. Gradually, the thoughts lead to my own career. What shall I do? What should I do? And so on… But then, this was something I did every day.
“Why don’t you drop this young lady first, son?” The sound of the old lady, who was sitting a seat away from me, was unexpected.
“I have some work to do, so it’s okay, you can drop everyone else first.” I responded, politely.
“Oh no! Don’t say that! This fellow always messes up with the route while dropping the passengers.” She said. I was amused. Then, it started…
“Whats your name, dear?” She inquired. I told her my name. She asked about where I lived and what I studied.
“English? Why on earth did you chose such a subject?” The question startled me. But it wasn’t something new.
“I love it! I am enjoying my studies a lot.” I replied, calmly. Traces of offense were hinting from my tone.
“Oh no, dear, no. Whats the use of such a subject? You should’ve studied from our school so that your basics would be strong.”
“I wasn’t born here.” I shyly said. I did not know why I was discussing my life with this random old lady. Whatever the reason might be, it was not disturbing me. I was enjoying her company.
“Oh! Then you should drop by some time. Our principal is Irish, she’d love to meet you.” I smiled, in response. She asked me about my family. I did not give extensive details.
“What about your siblings?” She asked on.
“None. I’m the only child.”
“No brother, either?”
“No, ma’m.”
“Oh dear, then you have to become someone great in your life. You are meant to do great things. You have to be strong. Make your parents proud, sweetheart.” I looked at her face, keenly. The wrinkles on her face were well defined with time. Her expressions were calm and humble. I was a bit confused. I was used to giving such answers. Usually people sympathized with me. Her answer was unique. I felt elated. We stood outside her house. She invited me inside, but I politely refused reminding her about my work. She held my hand and said,
“It was great meeting you. You’re a lovely girl. You’re meant to do great things in your life. Make sure you do those things and make everyone proud. God bless you sweetheart, in everything, throughout your life.” She held my hand in both of her hands and kissed my hand.
She stepped down, turned back to wish me luck for my future and left. I am quite sure I was teary eyed. This was something out of this world for me. These five minutes seemed to revive an describable spirit in me. I did not know anything about her, not even her name. All I felt was the warmth of her blessings that enveloped me.

The Battle Within

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A thunder, rambles on
That voice, mumbles on
Pushing it out of my head
A scream from the dead
A tree has fallen in the forest
No sound, no difference made
This was meant for the best
Yet red still drips from the blade
Unintentional fascinations
Unwanted appeals
Breathing through damnations
Is all that one feels
Colors blinded by grays of life
Need I burn through this strife?
Moans and cries, all in vain
Is it wrong to be insane?Resurructed strength’s ashes
Blinking eclipse’s flashes
Solitude reigns, tears shed
Numbing pain, numbing dread

Numb

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Everything is fading away…

I do not know why I do what I do. But sometimes, you have to make choices. The choices aren’t between what is right and what is wrong. It is not a matter of your reason competing with your emotions. It’s something that rises from your gut, cuts through your blood vessels and chokes your throat.
Unfortunately, there is no one to blame. In that case, we usually reconsider our own actions. But the dilemma lies in the dead end we face. There is really no one to blame. Really?
But then, what would the blame give us? Satisfaction is not a matter to drag in. Attaining satisfaction is like climbing a blind ladder. You keep going higher, setting new destinations, the final destination is vague throughout life. In reality, the destination is not vague at all. The problem is that we look for destinations in this world. We try to fill the malignant vacuum inside us by labeling ourselves with pin points that highlight our life.
We are constantly in the “ready, set, go!” mode triggered by any situation we are exposed to. We are proud to declare who is more miserable.
Tolerance and acceptance are out of question. We dislike the fact that someone is ranting about their lives, ALONE. Boom! Let’s join the club of lonely whiners and set new scales for puking out our unnecessary emotions. Who are we kidding? People are too busy in their own lives! Yes, there are many amazing people with high sense of dedication. But at the end of the day, we all live our own lives, breathe our own air and die our own death. No one is for the other, nor shall he ever be.

…and now, everything washes away like scribbles drawn by my finger on wet sand.
Everything has faded away.